OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
