i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There r osticjed everywhere
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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