I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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