I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
