Me. At least after what I've been through.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
