quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
