i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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