If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
