dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
