So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
