I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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