Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
