and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
