Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
