the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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