My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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