Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
