Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
