i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
