After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
