I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
