last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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