Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
