Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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