i think my mom watched the whole time
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
