didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize