One girl and one boy is just not enough.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
