You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
