That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize