she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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