So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
