Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize