wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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