i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
