Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize