But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
