I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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