no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
