What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
