You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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