I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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