feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
