Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
this will be a night to untag.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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