I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
