I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize