I forgot how hot balto sounded
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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