It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
