So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
