I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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