so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize