you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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