i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
