Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
