You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize