don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
