You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
