I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
