Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
