Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
