dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
