I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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