thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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