If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
